Comedy Central

Did you know that:

Wherever Rio Tinto operates, health and safety is the first priority.

You know, like three points of contact on the stairs ... red, blue, black pens only on your desk ... steel-cap boots whist using a meat mallet in your own kitchen.

Group businesses also put sustainable development at the heart of their operations. They work as closely as possible with host countries and communities, respecting their laws and customs. For Rio Tinto it is important that the environmental effects of its activities are kept to a minimum and that local communities benefit as much as possible from operations.

I'm benefiting from an increase of bauxite dust. But I'll tough it out for the good of the company. God knows the Chinese need a tip top business to step into down the track.

Also:

Rio Tinto follows the very best practices in safety, ethical business, social and environmental responsibility, and sustainable development.

...according to a Rio Tinto media employee whose previous job could very well have been writing TV commercials in the eighties extolling the virtues of smoking Camels ... 'for digestion's sake'. (Fair Dinkum true ad)

And:

Rio Tinto's fundamental objective is to maximise profit to investors...

Hey, Rio Tinto's average number of employees is now 47,000 ... 20,000 of those are managers, 10,000 think they're managers, and 5000 aren't a manager's arsehole.

I'm making this up obviously. The true figure is 47,038.


(Source: riotinto.com)